My very own Vampire Diaries

OMG you guys!!! My very own Vampire Diaries

Unfortunately in my diaries there are no sexy men who sparkle with beautiful blue eyes or other supernatural beings, what a let down! Honestly- no fair! I feel pretty ripped off that my version of vampire diaries are not as exciting or tantalising, rather they are just everyday vampire diaries.
What a shame, look at him!!

My name is prickle me Erika? (lame). Actually no, its Stick it. Wait - maybe its pin cushion. Nope.
Its called being Chronically Ill.

I'm extremely lucky that I do not have a fear of needles or injections or foreign bodies inside my body. Bodies being health related stuff (get your brains out of the gutter people!). So many people have huge fears about these things and if I did I would find myself in a very unfortunate place as for me its a regular thing.
 

The thing about needles, cannulas,  PICC lines, blood draws and injections is that they are a very necessary aspect of my life and an all too regular occurrence. Before I got really sick in 2010 I had undergone a few blood tests and vaccines, an IV etc for surgery but definitely not on a regular basis. I was reasonably healthy. I don't have a phobia but I used to get a little nervous each time that it would hurt really badly or my vein would roll or something would go unplanned but it never did thankfully. It did hurt a few of the times but I wouldn't say I ever had a particularly painful experience or a scarring moment.
 

When I was admitted back in 2010 I was having extremely regular blood draws and tests and daily injections for blood thinning for my immobility and nausea meds. At first it was a bit scary and I was really concerned about both the stinging pain of it and the results that were to come for whatever scary test was being run. After a week or two I adapted. It became less of a concern for me and the blood collectors no longer phased me. I guess like all things that you repeat on a regular basis, it became second nature. 

Fast track forward nearly 5years and I now know most of the 'vampires' by name or at least faces. Sadly these vampires don't come ridiculously good looking, sparkling and mysteriously unable to see the light, instead the ladies that come to collect blood everyday are known in the hospital as vampires. Exciting name and a little obvious right?! luckily they mostly don't mind being called that. It amazes me how easily they can palpate a vein. And I mean the tiniest smallest little buggers that exist in our bodies. It's very impressive. Unfortunately for me we have come to a point where they are struggling to find even a small vein for blood tests. This week we have resulted to using my foot. My foot!!! It surprisingly really hurts and the ankle region is pretty tender. I've had cannulas in my feet in the past during hard times or when I've been super dehydrated but it is not a common occurrence and of course not something I like. Recently we have been using my index finger as the 'go to' place and it has held up ok considering it's such a delicate little area but this week it wouldn't cooperate. 

Something a little different has happened this week which I'm amused by. I have had a number of blood tests this week because I have somehow got my electrolytes out of whack and also because I've been on high volume IV Fluids & Hartmans, gosh I'm clever right?! :-/  I've also had another round of IVIG amongst that which requires IV access. Anyway, the vamps usually come on their reaping around 7-7.30am which is far too early if you ask me. Surprisingly, the hospital doesn't run on my time preferences so it is what it is. They walk into my room, flick on my bright overhead light and come up to my ear and say something along the lines of 'darling wake up, time for blood test'. Normally I wake up and try to be semi-conscious and polite to the lady who is waking me up long before I am ready. I pretend like my eyes have vision and they aren't crying and sore, I pretend like I am enjoying to chat about whatever despite not being able to comprehend with my mind in sleep mode, I pretend I'm not dizzy and exhausted. I pretend to be normal and  not phased. 

I feel that these people are awake and technically helping me by taking my blood that I owe it to them to be a decent human, regardless of my distain for mornings. Well this week I have successfully broken my code of conduct towards the vampires. This week I literally slept through them taking my blood. I woke up, said hi and then..blank. I actually fell asleep. I don't know whether to be proud of this little achievement or sad or even scared. I guess it's great that I didn't feel it but disappointing that I've gotten so used to the procedure and sensation I've essentially blocked it out or become desensitized to it or something. It was somewhat surprising when I woke around 8.30 to find my arm taped up with a cotton swab under it, the way they put one on after any blood draw. This happened twice this week which means I'm either really tired or the ladies who stuck me this time were so good I didn't feel their technique. I think I'm just tired. Bugger.

The only other times I have not felt a needle or anything else is when I've been unconscious. That is a huge advantage to this nasty illness. When I'm out and unconscious I cannot think, feel, hear or see anything. It's like a black...nothing. I have had two events over the last few years that have made me very uneasy and worried in relation to the vamps. Both times I was in bed (like always) and I must've had my hands up or something and was passed out. The blood collector of the day took my blood without my consent or anyone else's knowledge. When the nurse found me and corrected my position and waited for me to regain consciousness I had a cotton swab taped to me where my blood must have been drawn. I immediately asked the nurse when did they do the bloods and they had no idea. This made me upset and angry as these people know I go unconscious and there is a sign above my bed at all times if they cannot rouse me (aka I'm unconscious) to please go and find a nurse. I felt a little violated. I put my trust and faith in the medical/health professionals every time I pass out. when I'm out they could do almost anything to me without consent so it is something that I respect the staff for respecting me. Having a member make the same mistake twice was not acceptable and henceforth this was followed up with senior management and hasn't happened again thankfully.

This week has got the wheels in motion, full motion actually as we have arrived at the end point for these little and big veins. The vampires are really struggling to take blood because its difficult and more importantly the IV cannula and Picc team whom their job is to place accesses all day, are at their wits end. I've also had more than enough of being poked with no success. So it has come the time to get a more permanent access. Last time I had a picc line placed it worked amazingly but I got sepsis (from a stupid nurse who I strongly dislike) when she refused my request for her to put gloves on  and she used poor hygiene and demonstrated a clear lack incompetence. This led to me becoming extremely and seriously unwell and the removal of my line. My doctors have been hesitant to place another central line but we don't have much choice now. This time will be a different form of central access and I am going to be beyond protective of who touches it and how aseptic their technique is. I cannot afford another infection, especially a sepsis one!!

It seems weird to say but I think I am actually looking forward to this next chapter. The less poking, prodding and tissued cannulas all the better I say. Bring on this next chapter because after all, I can't really change it.
And now we do what everyone part of any health system does...wait. wait, wait, annnnnddd wait.
I'm inspired & it seems only fitting that while I wait I might as well go and watch Twilight or True Blood??