The wonderful perks of being home...yaaaay!!!

So I've been thinking about this over last few days and although it's been less than 2weeks at home I thought I'd put together a few of the most obvious things I love about being home.

I'm sure as I stay home longer and longer in time this list will be huge and only get bigger which is good - that's what should be happening right?!?!!

Family. 

Being at home has meant seeing my family 24/7 and it has been (for the most part) great!!! Whilst in hospital it was family time weekdays between 4-7.30 and weekends 12-7. That's all. No good mornings, no sharing lunches and they were never the last face I saw before falling asleep. I love the freeness that has come with being home. We can have breakfast lunch and dinner together if feesable and it's not a big deal, doesn't need permission and we can simply just...be.

Being in hospital waking up to a different patient every so often has made me appreciate these little things so much more. At home there is no fake interactions, it's simple, be it a morning wake up from mum, a goodnight kiss on the cheek from dad, seeing my brother yelling bye as he flies out the door late for wherever he's meant to me, having my sister sit in my room for hours on end watching terrible tv and chatting or a typical grunt of 'morning' when it's too early for Evelyn to deal with the world. The thing about all of this is that it's all real, face value interactions and I wouldn't trade them for anything. 

In this short few days at home I've already had an argument with every member of my family and I've got to say it felt GREAT 😊 (sorry guys)! To be able to actually say what I think or even speak in a higher decibel has been somewhat enjoyable. In the hospital setting on any ward it is not common curtesy to scream, yell, talk loudly or show any aggression towards anyone. Even if you've dreamt of slipping bed socks down the old ladies throat, you just can't. It sucks. Some days I just wanted to scream for the sake of it, I wanted to yell to wake up all the patients who woke me, I wanted to turn my tv up and be as deaf as the other dinosaurs. I had no reason to do these things but often felt the burning need to just give it all right back to them.

Coming home to my Missy pup has made me so happy. I love that she remembers me and cried with joy when she saw me this time. She's been by my side everyday at home, both morning and night. I love her to death and cannot imagine the world without her cute little white furry face. Her unrelenting love never ceases to amaze me. If I want a cuddle so does she, if I want to chat so does she, if I want to sleep so does she and if I want to go for a walk so does she...although she actually can do that and right now & I can't, that makes me a bit jealous. Yes I said it, I'm jealous of my dog walking around!!  Do you think my Missy is cute as a button???

Another beauty of being home is the noise and the silence. Both are music to my ears. This may sound totally mad but I've learnt that there really are different silences. At home I find myself falling asleep to the sound of the crickets outside, my special alternating air mattress and..and...and..that's all. No one farting, no one screaming, no one talking in their sleep or snoring and no white noise of the big old air conditioning vents on ward Hope. The new silence is deafening but soothing. It has a calming effect on me and I feel safe. Admittedly I am still getting used to this new silence but I am enjoying the absence of every single one of the silences that were there in hospital. What does your silence sound like? 

Waking up to the sound of my alarm and not other people talking, or a nurse saying "wake up Erika it's breakfast time" while pulling off my leg splints and opening my blinds is so different, but in some ways it's also the same. Now being at home I try to wake up to my alarm before my home nurses arrive, but mostly that fails and somehow my alarm magically turns itself off - I believe anyway. I usually awake to my beautiful fresh candles being lit by the carers and a soft morning greeting from them. It's very simple and quite, and an ok thing. No other people around, no expectations to start unwanted pleasantries with other patients, it's just me in my room, waking up like a semi-normal person (Please note the 'semi normal').

Enter the Food! Shall I sum it up by saying how much I miss my delicious cold toast, stale sandwiches and beige coloured food dinner plates. Yes I miss them soooo much I would be happy to never see any of those green serving trays for patients ever again! Yuck yuck yuck. I won't go into
how bad it is today as I really do think it's worth it's own nasty little post sometime, but I will go into
home food. It's not a gourmet dinner every night but it mostly freshly cooked meals that have different tastes and colours and look appetising. Moreover, dinner is not at 5pm every night and I can choose when to eat it rather than being given a 30minute window before it has to be disposed. I
haven't gone all 'fancy food' or anything but I'm enjoying the simplest things done well like pastas & meats and soups as they are worth eating. It is so nice to enjoy the food and the environment I'm eating it in for a change. The summary of home food = yum yum yum! 

By no means is this the last advantage of being home, in fact it's one of the best. That my friends is having Foxtel. Having been an inpatient in hospital for the switch from analogue to digital television I have come to really appreciate different channel options. Prior to digital tv, I had exactly 4 channels in hospital on my big box of a thing hanging up above my curtain railing. Not only was the screen all old and fuzzy looking with a prehistoric sound box, it just totally sucked. I was lucky because my health insurance covered the costs of the tv, but other poor buggers were left with the option of dying of boredom or paying a hefty $35 per week for free to air tv. As you can imagine, coming home to a brand  spanking new tv in the living area where I spend a lot of time has been great. I can watch more than I can count channel options and I can have it up so loud it's deafening if I wish. I don't want/need this volume control but I am happy to not have to keep my head on a slight tilt to hear the tv like I did in hospital, just so I could hear the broken speaker box without disturbing others. It's quite liberating having the choice of the tv screaming at me and being able to choose any channel and any sound volume!

As you've probably picked up on I am enjoying being home just that little, tiny HUGE much. Every aspect is better!! I could probably write a detailed list on all the little trivial things I have found to be so much better in my short few days home but it may just go on forever.

As I look around my house there are things I am looking forward to enjoying as I get better and better. There are a few things that I have my eyes set on to achieve in the future...

Since I've been in hospital this admission my parents have got new carpet for our house, including
my bedroom. It looks beautiful and soft and very nice thick quality and I cannot wait until one day
(hopefully soon) I walk on it or at least stand on it for a while. When I was healthy, this really
wouldn't have been a big deal to me and honestly I would've never thought it would be on my to do
list at home, but for now I'm looking forward to it.

The kitchen table is a big element of our living/dining area. It's big and beautiful and one day I am going to sit in one of the standard chairs and tuck myself in under the big wooden bench and have a meal. Don't get me wrong, I can sit at the table in my electric wheelchair with help to have a meal except I cannot actually reach the table to put my plate on and eat off of it. Right now, my stable table is my bench and portable dining table which works perfectly for my current needs.

Before I got sick I had a huge queen bed with black 4 posts and a beautiful white princess drape/canopy over the top. It was a bed fit for any young lady and it felt lovely to sleep in such a pretty place. Sadly, as I got sick over the years in hospital it became clear that coming home would mean I need a hospital bed. A single, ugly hospital bed with side rails, just like the one I'd spent
literally years lying in, all bar the trade off of having a wooden bed-head instead of white plastic to make it more homel y. Personally I don't think a hospital bed in any situation outside a hospital is homely or looked upon as pretty and nice. The one thing my hospital bed has given me though is comfort. Comfort in the fact that I will not fall on the floor when I roll over and go unconscious. As soon as I stop rolling in my sleep and going unconscious that big black bed is coming back in!! Here's a picture of my current room with new carpet and an attempt at making my hospital bed look just that little bit more normal- or as I say prettified.

Another goal is to get out the back by myself. The back door to our outside area is a glass sliding door with a screen door as well. It is impossible for me to get out the back at the moment without help. It's hard to manoeuvre the chair over the sliding door track and it them goes directly onto a ramp. I would love to be able to just go outside on my own without dramas. Our undercover area is lovely and most of all the pool is so relaxing. Ofcourse I'm not that ambitious to want to go in the actual thing, but to be able to sit out there and get some much needed sunlight with a drink in hand is a goal of mine. It's like a little paradise..look!!

There are alot of other things I'd love to be able to do at home myself but for now I'll keep it at that. So here is my mini home bucket list...do you have a home bucket list???

Much love xoxo